Thursday, September 30, 2010

Sugarless Eve

Twas the night before My Month Without Sugar and all through the house, no sugar to be found, except the crumbs on my blouse.

So I did it. I totally binged on sugar tonight in preparation for my month-long sugar free goal. On the menu? 1 sugar doughnut, 1 white chocolate macadamia nut cookie, 1 slice of yellow cake with the best freakin' dark chocolate frosting I have EVER tasted (will have to revisit that place on November 1st ;), and an unquantifiable amount of Pepperidge Farm sugar cookies. It was like taking that last big gulp of air before sinking down to the bottom of a swimming pool. And yes, of course I feel nauseatingly sick. Why wouldn't I?

I have great expectations about the changes I'll notice going sugar-free for a month. I'm even going to cut out bread! Because, alas, when looking on the food label, yes, I discovered sugar as an ingredient. Corn tortillas will have to do. I expect to notice changes in my energy levels, mood levels, weight levels, and concentration levels.

Right now, as I come down from my sugar high, I feel absolutely lethargic and lazy and pissy. My sink is overloaded with dishes, it would take only 5 minutes to load the dishwasher, but I just don't want to, so I'm going to put it off until tomorrow morning. I want to read a chunk of Infinite Jest, but I know that I won't be able to get through even one page without falling asleep. My fingers feel fat. My gut is protruding. I'm not looking forward to wearing my work pants in the morning. Thank God it's Friday tomorrow. Maybe after three sugar-free days, my body will oblige and fit in them better next week.

I feel fortunate for having discovered the My Year Without Sugar blog. It's like it was meant to be. I'm looking forward to reading it day by day for inspiration. (I know she succeeded because I peeked at the end!)

My Month Without Sugar

I'm stealing this idea from someone else. I made the decision to go sugar-free for a month before serendipitously discovering her blog. And I was apprehensive about only a month! She committed to a year! Surely I can achieve my goal then. It's only 31 days. I plan to read one of her posts every day. Her January 1st post will be my October 1st reading, January 2nd will equal October 2nd, etc. My hope is that she will give me some good ideas and inspire me to stay committed even when I somehow end up with a double chocolate fudge brownie in one hand and a warm, fresh iced sugar cookie in the other. Before I make the decision to indulge, I promise to read her post first, and then decide. If I still want the sugar, then I'll do a meditation first, and then decide. If I still want the sugar... well, you get the idea. "This too shall pass." I must always remember that urges pass. By definition, urges are short and temporary. Urges will go away whether I indulge in them or not.

(My inner brat is going to need a lot of silencing over the next few weeks.)