Friday, October 8, 2010

Send in the clowns!

So, so, so... Day 8 and a struggle.  I have an urge to drive to the store, get me some soft iced sugar cookies that I so dearly love, and play "how many clowns can fit in the car" with the cookies and my mouth.  I know I won't, but it makes me wonder, will I ever get over this?  If I do get over it, what happens next month?  Will I be able to put sugar back into my diet?  Or is it inevitable that once I put it back into my diet, the addiction will also come back?  It's absolutely crazy how much power this stuff has over me, it's seriously like a drug.  


I mean, when you quit smoking, you don't go back to having a cigarette every once in a while, because you know the addiction will slowly come back if you do (this I know from experience!).  So does this mean I will never be able to have sugar again without becoming a full-fledged sugar addict again?  UGH!  I can't imagine never having dark chocolate again (OMG!!!), or rice krispie treats, or warm cookies from the oven (so sad).  I need some guidance here.  I honestly don't know what "rules" I should follow beginning November 1st.  Ideally, I want to be able to have foods with sugar, but in moderation.  I want to be in control of it.  Can I teach myself that?  I better start doing some serious research on this.

Okay, enough of that heavy stuff... On to my grateful moment of the day.

Today, I am grateful for the cool photo app that Retta shared with me a while ago, but which I just started using.  "Hipstamatic" for iPhones, "Retro Camera" for Androids.  Any photo easily turns into a work of art.  Awesome!

(Naturally) Sweet Dreams!


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  2. I love Hipstamatic too! It's pretty addictive :)

    I confess that I used to be Bulimia-ic when I was younger. But somehow it stopped when things got too busy that I cared less about food and eating. Now I eat sweets and greasy stuffs including meats, but being tired of feeling guilty/depressed afterwards keeps me from eating too much.
    It's all mental thing so it's curable for sure. How about trying hypnotherapy?

    (I deleted my previous post because I made some grammatical error and could not fix it.)

  3. Thank you for sharing that, Meri. I totally get the "being tired of feeling guilty/depressed afterwards"'s exhausting making the same mistakes over & over! I think that's a big part of why I've been successful at this for 8 days now, because I'd rather suffer through the urges than wake up in the morning and feeling disappointed in myself again.

    I've thought about hypnotherapy actually, but the price has kept me away. I'm afraid that it won't work...and I'd hate to spend hundreds of dollars to find that out. Have you tried it?

  4. I need to see if there are any cool photo apps for my Palm Pre. Love it!

    On the sugar thing, I wish I knew the answer too. But for me, it's not just sugar. It's just food in general. Either I'm totally in control or totally out of control. I can't stray from the "plan" a bit or everything goes down the tubes for the day. It sucks.

  5. I just got some really great advice from my trainer and he said that before you eat something that you know maybe isn't good for you to stop and ask "Why am I eating this?". If you are eating it because you are out with the friends and it is what you usually do then maybe you should reconsider. If you truly decide that it is something that you want to taste and you are aware of the calories/nutrition and you are thinking about it in terms of the overall picture of your health, then have it as a treat and move on. I think the whole key there is to be mindful and conscious of what you are doing because the unconscious eating is what gets us in trouble. Maybe you don't have to cut out sugar forever but be aware of when you want it and the triggers. If you are eating for stress, not good. If you are eating consciously, maybe not so bad. When I started eating vegan I eliminated completely my trigger foods of cheese and other dairy and I think it does make it easier for me to control my eating. I don't think this necessarily works for everyone though.

  6. carolinecalcote...I feel your pain! Maybe we're being to hard on ourselves sometimes, and that's part of the problem. ? I don't know. Have you read the book "Women, Food, and God"? It's a great book, and there's a section that discusses specifically what you describe... we're "restricters".

    Retta... Thanks for all the great advice! I agree that mindfulness is key when making choices, because you're right, a lot of times I eat something "bad" just because everyone else is. I feel like Pavlov's Dog at work sometimes... someone will bring in brownies, or cake, or bagels or something, and as soon as I hear about it... Ding! I'm up out of my chair and headed to the break room to get some. A lot of times I'm not hungry and/or it's not one of my favorite things to eat, but I do it anyway. Just cutting that behavior out alone would help tons!